Nothing is Forever
by Bert
Summary: Alternate wishverse B/X *complete*
1. Part 1/2

Title: Nothing is Forever (1/2)  
  
Author: Bert  
  
Disclaimer: The usual  
  
Rating: PG?  
  
Summary: Alternate wishverse, B/X  
  
  
  
Xander's thoughts in his final moments were about her, just as they have been since he first saw her. He knew that he was going to finally die this night, not that it was fated or anything but just a case either him or her. No contest really. In the calm just before the storm he remembered their first encounter.  
  
---  
  
It was early morning barely a month previously, he was on a late night patrol to see if there were any kids stupid enough to be out at this time. There usually were one or two stragglers every month and the lure of hunting alone was too much for him to ignore. Sounds of a struggle in the graveyard attracted his attention; quickly entering he kept to the shadows till he knew who or what he was dealing with. Then he saw her, a golden goddess dancing in the night...  
  
---  
  
His thoughts returned to the present, he'd known her for nearly a month, though it seemed like forever. Life would be so much more unbearable without her around. The master below was droning on about what a momentous occasion this was, blah, blah, blah. His thoughts once again returned to the past.  
  
---  
  
He watched from the shadows as she wandered around the cemetery. He was about to warn her that such an activity would get her killed when a newbie chose that moment to rise. Xander's instinct to rush forward and help was checked by the fighting stance she quickly shifted into.  
  
Well, well, well he thought, it seems there was more to this girl than beauty alone. He watched impressed as she easily dispatched the vampire with not inconsiderable skill, as well as the other three that night. It wasn't until the next night that he discovered her name, Buffy, the vampire slayer.  
  
---  
  
A nudge from Willow momentarily brought him back to the present. He smiled down at her, they had been inseparable as kids and still they were together. Buffy, he sighed, relishing the brief moments they had.  
  
---  
  
Xander's usual pattern changed the next night, instead of going out into town with Willow as was his custom; he went to watch her instead. He found them patrolling another cemetery this evening, the clapped out watcher and his young charge. That she was a vampire slayer was no longer any doubt, not after she had dispatched four vampires the previous evening. He watched them from the shadows, the irony of a vampire watching a slayer and a watcher was not lost on him.  
  
"Buffy, look out" the Giles shouted.  
  
She quickly turned around and let loose a flying kick to the vampire's chest as it tried to grab her from behind. Quickly taking advantage of its stunned state she rammed home the stake.  
  
"Buffy" Xander softly said her name, it seemed so right coming from his lips.  
  
The slayer in question whirled about looking for a new enemy; she could have sworn she heard someone say her name. With a last glance into the darkness she silently followed her watcher home, unaware of being followed herself.  
  
---  
  
The crowd below clapped at something the master said. Willow snaked her arm around his waist, Xander carefully kept the distaste he felt from showing. Willow fancied that she loved him but he knew it could never be. He belonged to another.  
  
---  
  
It all changed a week after he learned her name. She had got cocky and was unprepared for the group of vampires that attacked her. She put up a brave fight but eventually a brutal backhand had sent her sprawling. She was knocked out cold as her head hit the gravestone. Xander felt the rage build within, they had dared to harm what was his. Leaping forward he quickly dispatched the vampires that remained, they didn't stand a chance. Finding a lack of things to kill he let himself calm down and resume his human face. Sniffing, he smelt traces of blood, looking down he saw the patch of red that matted her blonde hair. Gently he picked her up and carried her home, he hadn't been there since he killed his parents, but at least she would be safe from the others.  
  
---  
  
Xander smiled, not at the master's terrible joke but at the way Willow reacted when she found out about them. What had happened was as much her fault as his, but he couldn't hate her, not his Willow. Then again he couldn't love her either, maybe that was punishment enough.  
  
---  
  
Xander was sitting there with Buffy in his lap when she regained consciousness. He had his arms gently around her when she awoke with a start.  
  
"What?" she struggled to move.  
  
"Shhh, your safe" Xander gently stroked her hair.  
  
To his surprise she didn't question him but snuggled in closer. Gently he caressed her face, lifting it slightly so he could look into her eyes. "You're beautiful" he whispered.  
  
Buffy instinctively reached up to touch the scar that marred her face, Xander quickly grabbed her arm, with a finger he gently traced the mark, "I said you are beautiful."  
  
Buffy studied his eyes for any hint of insincerity, she found none. For some reason she felt safe in his cold arms. Then realization struck her, pushing Xander away she leapt of the bed, "Get away from me you undead freak" she yelled.  
  
Pain and hurt flashed in Xander's eyes then concern as he saw Buffy start to fall. Getting up he caught her before she could hit the floor.  
  
She awoke again a couple of hours before dawn, again in Xander's arms. She struggled to break free, but this time Xander just tightened his grip and held on, he didn't want to let go.  
  
"You shouldn't have got up so fast with that head injury, don't do it again" he admonished.  
  
He slipped out from under her and stood up. Buffy moved to follow but was forcibly restrained by his hand, "Stay"  
  
He studied for a short while memorizing every detail since it was unlikely he would ever be this close to the slayer again.  
  
"I've got to go, the sun will rise soon."  
  
"Good" Buffy snarled  
  
Xander just gave her a sad smile, "rest for a while, the others can't enter so you're safe"  
  
With great daring he leant down and gave her a gentle kiss. "Be seeing you" he whispered and quickly left.  
  
He never saw the look of hate pass across Buffy's face quickly followed by a radiant smile as she touched her lips where he had.  
  
---  
  
God, didn't he ever shut-up Xander wondered. If they weren't already dead they soon will be from the boredom. To one side Willow watched in rapt attention taking in all that was said. His gaze wandered towards the cages. He could have sworn that some of the occupants were looking at the machine almost wistfully.  
  
---  
  
Buffy was absent from the streets for next few nights, Xander had looked high and low for any sign but she wasn't to be found. Instead he spent time prowling with Willow before she became too suspicious about his nightly absenteeism. Then he found her again where he had left her.  
  
Passing his house one night he saw a flicker of light from his old bedroom window, entering the house silently he expected to find a petty thief. Instead he found Buffy sitting on his bed looking at his scrapbook.  
  
"Snoop much" he asked standing in the doorway.  
  
Buffy jumped at the sound of his voice and raised her stake threateningly towards him.  
  
Xander raised an eyebrow, "if you intend using that then lets get it over with."  
  
She suddenly seemed hesitant, uncertain, "Why?" she finally asked.  
  
"Why what?" he asked confused.  
  
"I've been doing some research on you" she blushed glancing down at the pictures, "you killed your parents"  
  
It wasn't a question, "I'm a vampire its what we do"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "You didn't feed from them, so why?"  
  
She watched conflicting emotions cross his face, then become stone cold. But his brown eyes betrayed the pain he was feeling from the memories her questions brought up.  
  
"I used to have to spend Christmas camping," he said.  
  
"So? Lots of families go on trips during the holidays"  
  
"You don't understand. I used to sleep in the garden, it was easier that way." a single bloody tear ran down his cheek, "and things were better at Christmas" he hated her for this, forcing him to remember his past life, making him appear weak before her. These ghosts had been laid to rest long ago but she was forcing them to the surface to haunt him once again.  
  
Buffy was confused on the one hand she felt sorry for him, on the other she was supposed to hate him for what he is and the anguish he has caused.  
  
"You looked happy" she flipped through the pictures.  
  
"It was better to laugh than to cry."  
  
She locked gazes with Xander, "Why did you save me?"  
  
Xander didn't know what to say, he was having trouble articulating what he felt towards her, "you're beautiful, it should be cherished because there's so damn little of it present in my world" he finished lamely.  
  
Her gaze dropped to the floor for a moment, carefully closing the album she stood up and raised the stake. "I'm sorry," she said as she slowly approached him.  
  
Xander closed his eyes waiting for the end to come, expecting the stake to pierce his heart and finish his existence. Instead Buffy gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "be seeing you" she whispered before running off.  
  
---  
  
Xander touched his cheek where Buffy had first kissed him, the touch had filled him with joy. The master was still talking, you would have thought he'd be tired of his own voice after all these centuries. She was right, he is trapped, he emoted too much to be fully part of the group yet couldn't leave because of what he was. For the first time Xander hated the master for the life denied him. 


	2. Part 2/2

Title: Nothing is Forever (2/2)  
  
Author: Bert  
  
Disclaimer: The usual  
  
Rating: PG?  
  
Summary: Alternate wishverse, B/X  
  
  
  
Every night since then he watched from the shadows as she fought his brethren. Each evening she looked pointedly to where he was hiding, neither of them having the courage to step forth and approach the other. He knew that she knew that he knew she knew he was there, or something like that. He groaned and rubbed his temples at the headache he was getting.  
  
He was ready and waiting in his customary position waiting for Buffy to show when Willow found him.  
  
"What ya doing?"  
  
"Hunting" he lied hoping she'd leave before Buffy came out on patrol.  
  
"Oh Goody" Willow cried spotting a young guy running through the cemetery. She ran after him, gleefully running him down, as usual she didn't even hide what she was, their fear made it so much more fun for her. Xander cursed the fates, of all the stupid times for a snack to come blundering by. Quite frankly the kid deserved to be eaten he thought, quickly catching up with them.  
  
Willow was toying with her catch, the poor chap was paralyzed with fear. He flinched whenever she touched him.  
  
"Didn't mummy ever tell you not to play with your food?"  
  
"Xander" she whined, "he won't play."  
  
Getting angry about the time being wasted, "eat and go" he snarled, game face on.  
  
"You're no fun anymore" she berated him, "the slayer has ruined you" she mocked.  
  
Growling he stepped forward to strike her when she pounced on the guy ripping open his throat. The smell of fresh blood was overwhelming, Xander felt himself losing control.  
  
Pulling back she smiled a bloody smile, with blood dripping down the corner of her mouth, "want some?" she asked turning the exposed neck towards Xander.  
  
He lost it, let the hunger and bloodlust take control as he greedily drank from the rapidly dying mortal. Sated he dropped the body and looked up into the shocked gaze of Buffy.  
  
He stood there staring at her, unable to move from her gaze. Angrily she turned and stormed off leaving them to their meal. Xander turned to Willow and saw the smug look on her face, the stupid bitch had set him up. Furious he turned towards at her and backhanded her across the face, "you dare"  
  
Willow struck back with equal fury and so the fight continued, with her attempting to give as good as she got. But she was no match for her sire and he easily won.  
  
---  
  
The master was now extolling the wonders of the modern age, Xander expected him at any moment for him to start a 'when I was a lad, barely out of the grave' speech. Where were the white-hats he wondered, he was sure they'd attack tonight, its what the good guys do, one of the unwritten laws of good vs. evil.  
  
---  
  
Xander chased after Buffy, hoping to catch her. He knew that if he lost her tonight he would lose her for good. He spotted her running towards the high school.  
  
"Buffy" he called running up towards her, she twisted round and crouched into a fighting stance, stake ready to strike.  
  
"Come for the second course?" she asked, "I'm not easy to eat as that boy."  
  
He raised his hand pleadingly, "Buffy, please don't do this"  
  
She was obviously upset, "don't do what? Rip a guys throat out? Oh sorry you've already done that!"  
  
"Why are you being like this?"  
  
"How could you? I thought you were different" she turned around so he couldn't see the tears, but remained tense, if he tried anything she'd be ready.  
  
"Buffy" he said softly, "Buffy look at me"  
  
Buffy remained as she was, he sighed in frustration.  
  
Gently Xander repeated his request, "turn around, please"  
  
She turned but kept her gaze downward, she had an idea what he was attempting to do but wouldn't let him control the situation.  
  
"Look at me" he ordered, getting no response he stepped forward, Buffy quickly looked up and raised the stake ready to strike. Her eyes locked with Xander's yellow ones, exposing the chasm that stood unbridgeable between them.  
  
"This is me, a vampire, a demon, I feed to live" he spread his arms exposing himself to her scrutiny. He didn't need to clarify what he fed off, she had seen him.  
  
Buffy mimicked him, "this is me, the slayer, I only exist to kill your kind", she didn't pull any punches.  
  
Xander let loose a chuckle, "look at us, a right pair we make, the demon and the slayer forever destined to be apart."  
  
"Nothing is forever" she said sadly shaking her head.  
  
He stepped forward and took her hands, "forever" he replied sadly, "someday you'll die and go to heaven whereas I'll end up in the other place."  
  
"Hell" she replied simply.  
  
"Actually I was thinking more of Cleveland, but compared to there hell's a plus."  
  
Buffy giggled, "were you this gooky alive?"  
  
Xander just smiled down at her, then he frowned, "that's the second time you've done that."  
  
"Done what?" she asked confused.  
  
"Asked about the past, about my life."  
  
Buffy paused, gathering her thoughts, "you remember Cordellia?" she shook her head, "of course you do, you ate her" she muttered answering her own question. "Well it's because of her that I was called to Sunnydale."  
  
"I know" Xander interrupted, "the whole reason we went after her was because she somehow learned of you."  
  
"Well Giles thinks she came from another reality"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"She said she knew us, me, you, and the others, we even stopped the master rising."  
  
Xander gently shook her, "Buffy stop it, don't tear your-self up wondering about what ifs and maybes. Live the here and now, it's all we've got."  
  
"It's just, what if she was right."  
  
"I don't get where you're going with this."  
  
"What if out there" she gestured to the night sky, "what if somewhere out there, there is something better."  
  
Xander grabbed her hand and pulled her along, "come with me" he asked when she resisted his pull, "I promise not to bite," then his face broke out into a grin that Buffy was getting to know all too well, "unless you ask nicely that is."  
  
She laughed and fell into step with him as he led her out of town.  
  
---  
  
Hmm, Xander thought. Maybe they were waiting for the master to finish his speech and start the process before they attacked. If that was the case then they'd probably die of old age before he finished. Oh no, Xander watched in horror as the master picked up a thick book started to read out passages verbatim.  
  
---  
  
Xander led Buffy to one of the hills overlooking Sunnydale. Below the lights of the town glistened brightly as if to ward off the horrors of the night. It looked almost peaceful and normal, almost but not quite, too many houses were dark and lifeless. Overhead undimmed by the city lights the stars twinkled in all their unending glory.  
  
"Where are we?" Buffy asked.  
  
"It used to be a lovers lane, but it's not used by anyone anymore."  
  
"Oh", she didn't need to ask why not, she could guess why, after all she was here with one of those reasons.  
  
Xander looked up into the night sky, losing himself within the vastness. Buffy followed his gaze, picking out the few constellations she could name and otherwise enjoying the companionable silence.  
  
"I like it here", Xander broke the silence, "its quiet in a way that the town never is."  
  
Buffy said nothing, just watching him lie there. "You are different" she whispered.  
  
"Well, duh"  
  
A smile briefly lit up her face, "I mean from other vampires, most are just mindless killing machines."  
  
Xander didn't answer her question, just stared at her face.  
  
"What are you looking at?"  
  
"You" he smiled, "your face lights up when you smile, you don't do it enough"  
  
Buffy's eyes got sad, "I don't have much to smile about"  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really"  
  
"Oh, so its ok for you to pry but not me?" he asked, feigning hurt  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Xander looked up to the night sky, "make a wish" he said pointing at a shooting star.  
  
"I wish" she began  
  
"Not aloud" he interrupted.  
  
Buffy was silent for a moment, then smiled.  
  
"Well?" he asked.  
  
Buffy cocked her head to one side, studying him with a strange expression deep in her eyes. Slowly the corners of her lips curled upwards as a secretative smile formed.  
  
"What?" Xander shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.  
  
Buffy's eyes twinkled, "I'm not telling."  
  
"Oh really?" his voice dripped with disbelief. Xander flexed his hands menacingly, "I'll force it out of you if I have to."  
  
Xander let out low growl and jumped on top of her, "give" he snarled as he began to mercilessly tickle her sides.  
  
Buffy laughed and squirmed under his grasp, "stop it" she begged trying to catch her breath. Deciding that attack was the best form of defense Buffy attacked in kind, not even knowing if vampires were ticklish. The soft purr coming from deep within him soon answered her question.  
  
Seeing the triumphant look on her face Xander redoubled his efforts until she was convulsing hysterically. Painfully aware of the effect she was having on him Xander stopped his assault and rested on his arms giving her a chance to escape if she so wished. He also needed a moment to gather his confused emotions together.  
  
Breathing heavily Buffy sensed his hesitancy, looking up into his eyes she saw the confusion and uncertainty within him. Forcing the issue she grabbed the moment with both hands she leaned up and kissed him passionately before literally falling back to earth. "Maybe some wishes come true" she said smiling.  
  
Xander looked down at her for a moment before he grinned and leaned back down into her embrace.  
  
---  
  
Xander sighed, that night was the first and only time they had made love. It was a magical moment that he would remember for the rest of his unlife, which would be about 5 minutes. He turned his gaze towards the rear of the gathering and the cages where the disturbance started. The moment he dreaded was finally here. At least he wouldn't have to hear the master drone on anymore.  
  
---  
  
As one they leapt into the battle at the master's order. Willow headed straight for the cages and from which the human slaves were escaping from. Xander took his time to study the melee before choosing his target. A jealous rage boiled up within him when he saw the excessive attention the weakling was paying Buffy.  
  
Angel staked the vampire he was fighting a looked up to check on how Buffy was doing. That was his first mistake. He saw Xander head towards Buffy and moved to intercept him. That was his second. Angel fell hard as an enraged Xander charged into him, the stake falling from his hand and rolling across the floor. That was his third and final mistake. Xander was in no mood for torture or pain, in a single swift move he rammed his own stake into Angel's heart. He felt the betrayer disintegrate beneath him even as he rejoined the battle.  
  
Slowly the fighting brought them closer together until they couldn't ignore each other any longer. Momentarily bereft on any other targets they faced each other warily, their eyes locked in a conflict of wills. Finally Buffy broke the gaze and turned to attack the vampire approaching from the side as Xander likewise attacked the white hats helping to free the humans.  
  
The master fumed, the fight was not going well. Not only was Willow was dead but Angelus also received an unwarranted merciful death and to top it all off his current favorite had actually turned away from confronting the slayer. Unbelievable!  
  
Combatants unknowingly veered away or parted as some unseen forced left the master unscathed as he walked calmly through the melee towards the slayer. Sensing his approached Buffy turned towards him and launched a rapid flurry of attacks towards him, which he deflected with ease. He lased out and grabbed Buffy by the throat, "pathetic little girl" he hissed and slowly squeezed.  
  
Buffy beat futilely at his arms as he slowly crushed her neck, savoring every gasp she made as he slow choked the life out of her. Buffy glared defiantly up at him when a sudden look of complete surprise crossed the master's face. No longer held up by the master Buffy collapsed onto her knees gasping for breath as the master himself staggered backward a step before disintegrating leaving behind his skeleton and an inanely grinning boy holding a stake.  
  
"Oops," Xander shrugged his shoulders and pulled Buffy to her feet.  
  
They stood there calmly in the eye of the storm as the fight continued to rage around them. Already Xander could see vampires leave by ones and twos, their will to fight for a lost cause fleeing with the death of the master. Soon there would only be mere mopping up left for the white hats. "So" he said after a moment.  
  
"So" Buffy repeated, "you saved me."  
  
"I killed the master" the enormity of what he had just done was just beginning to sink in. Surreptitiously he nudged the skeleton away from them with his foot, hoping futilely that no one would notice.  
  
"You still saved me."  
  
"I still killed the master," then he grinned and inflated his chest, "that makes me top dog."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No," his ego rapidly deflated.  
  
"Oh", Buffy didn't know what else to say, "so what now?" she asked.  
  
"I'm thinking of leaving," he said after a while, "I'm going to move to the country and buy me a goat."  
  
Buffy grinned, "meaning you're not too popular with the demon population for killing the master and are running out of dodge before you're kicked out?"  
  
"Something like that," he shrugged, "most of them would thank me anyway, only not publicly."  
  
"You could stay," Buffy said meekly.  
  
Xander's eyes widened in shock, "Buffy Summers, are you propositioning me?"  
  
Buffy had the grace to look bashful, "well the hell-mouth is still open and we could still use your help."  
  
"We?" he mocked her with a quirked eyebrow.  
  
"Ok, me, there I said it satisfied?" she glared defiantly up at him, "I don't want you to go."  
  
"Your watcher won't be happy."  
  
"Screw him," the frustrations of the last few hours began to take their toll, "he'll do what I say, after all he's just a fuddy old Englishman." She caught the look Xander was giving her, "well he is."  
  
Xander grinned and held out his arm to her, "come on, let's go give your watcher nightmares."  
  
Laughing Buffy grabbed his arm and calmly walked out into the night. 


End file.
